Ruthless Trust

Posted on Mar 1, 2019 in Father, Front Page Post, Trust |

Your fingers peel back the skin on my chest
I try to resist
denying you access to my wounded heart
I become powerless as my eyes witness
You expose my brokenness

Going deeper pass my skin,
You discover hidden hurts within the crevices 
Sealed off from being touched by your love
That resist the ruthless trust you ask me for
I begin to shake
I loose the composure of my face
I am naked 
I quiver
looking for the will to deny you… again.

Going deeper still
Your eyes within my soul
Begin to expose the grip that darkness has had on me
I recoil
I juxtapose with scripted reasons
I refuse to come forth and receive your healing
I am weary of running into the sphere of nothingness
Wearing a face to hide the pain knawing at me
Walking amongst the dead who like me are afraid of trusting you
With ruthless abandonment

My rationale is getting stale
My odor cannot be covered by chanel
My smile is forced
My eyes open wide
Even though I am exhausted of force-feeding people around me lies
Acting out
What I cannot find within
Cause I won’t trust you with ruthless abandonment 

Today I make a shift by your grace I no longer resist
I chose to rest in the joyous provision of your love
I come to understand
The beauty of your plans
May your purpose astonish me
Again and again
I trust you 
God